Feelings of farewell

Do you remember the feeling that you have as you say bye to someone you would be missing so much. I used to have it a lot as a kid. After every summer when I said good bye to my cousins it was always there. It used to come back ten times worse when I had to say good bye to mom. I never understood why one has to go through such feeling. Why can't we all be together forever when we enjoy each other's company so much?

I do not feel that anymore. I am trying hard to remember how it feels like and I might have an idea of how it would feel like but there is no way for me to be sure if I cannot experience it ever again. When I was a kid I always wished that I never had that feeling again and now it is strange that I am wishing for the very same thing. When we are with someone special time flies by and though we enjoy every passing second we barely pause for a moment to reflect on how happy we are at that instant. Only during these partings do we really perceive the depth of our bonding. We need these moments of farewell to pause and be grateful for the relations and bonds we hold.

My life has been mostly running away from things. For some reason I feel more comfortable among total strangers than among familiar faces. I wish I go back to my older self and I wish I get that feeling once more. I wish that I meet someone who makes me feel that way again. A while back I thought I found one. My heart should have broken into pieces when I said farewell to her knowing very well that I might never see her again. Instead I felt relieved that it would now be easy to forget her. It makes me a bit sad but not very much because I tell myself that even though I still try to remember, she would have completely forgotten about me. Well, life is complicated and random and I am trying to keep it as simple as I can by not taking any chances. But what chance do I have of meeting someone then?